Who Ya' Gonna Call?

Gozer: Sub-creatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveller has come! Choose and perish!
Ray Stantz: What do you mean, choose? We don't understand!
Gozer: Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor!
Peter Venkman: Oh, I get it. Real cute! [to the others] Whatever we think of– if we think of Obama, Obama will appear and destroy us, Okay? So empty your heads, don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this.
Gozer: The choice is made!
Peter Venkman: Whoa! Hold on!
Gozer: The Traveller has come!
Peter Venkman: Nobody chose anything! [turns to Egon] Did you choose anything?
Egon Spengler: No.
Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did you?
Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.
Peter Venkman: I didn't choose anything.
[All three turn to look at Ray]
Ray Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.
Peter Venkman: [sternly] What? What "just popped in there?"
Ray Stantz: I- I- I tried to think...
Egon Spengler: Look!
[They all look over one side of the roof]
Ray Stantz: No! It can't be!
Peter Venkman: What is it?
Ray Stantz: It can't be!
Peter Venkman: What did you do, Ray?!
Winston Zeddemore: Oh, $hit!
Ray Stantz: It's Newt Gingrich

(Stolen from the Internet!)

Beware of Fresh Fruit

What ever you do, do not put the lime in the coconut:

A chef was stunned to find she was almost banned from buying two limes from a supermarket - because they could be classed as a weapon.

Marisa Zoccolan, 31, popped into the new Asda supermarket close to her home in Wallsend, North Tyneside, to pick up some groceries, including the citrus fruits.

But when she tried to pay for them at the self-service checkout, the message 'amount exceeded, authorisation required' flashed up.

An assistant then came over and told her that more than one lime was deemed a weapon - because the citric acid could be squirted in someone's eye.

While this is humorous, it seems clear that this is a simple case of a product being mislabeled in the computer. The worker was having a little joke I am sure. 

But we do need to remember the dangers of fresh fruit, Monty Python makes this danger clear for us. 

It Became Necessary To Destroy The Village In Order to Save It

Famously never said during the war in Vietnam was this gem: "It became necessary to destroy the village in order to save it." (Something similar was appartently said.)

Mish Shedrock recently listed some more current absurdities. Here are some of his: 

"We Have to Go Spend Money to Keep From Going Bankrupt." said By Joe Biden

"I've abandoned free-market principles to save the free-market system." said by President George Bush

"The central irony of financial crisis is that while it is caused by too much confidence, too much borrowing and lending and too much spending, it can only be resolved with more confidence, more borrowing and lending, and more spending."  said by Larry Summers 

Here are some that I remember. 

"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," said congressman Hank Johnson on the island of Guam. 

 "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate." said by Marion Barry, former Washington mayor. 

"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do," Ronald Reagan. Trees do cause pollution. The combination of the ignoring of the positive net benefit of trees, and the word "more" is what makes his statement absurd. This link talks about what Reagan said. 

Of course, there was an obscure lay preacher reading from the Bible who thought that earrings hung from the eyes. I won't say who it was except that I see him in the mirror when I shave. 

Here is a classic dumb statement, at least for this one Obama mispoke:

Modern Monoply

Socialist Monopoly