I remember clearly my first and only rasslin’ match. I was around 11. A friend of the family took me. I was very excited and I cheered and cheered for my selected champion. I was especially impressed with the women wrestlers. I shouted enough that the family friend was a little embarrassed. The main match ended with a low blow. The wrestler who landed it was either a good actor or clearly upset with what had happened. Naturally he lost by default.
This was way before the days of modern wrestling and the WWE. Here is how Wikipedia describes this business:
World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (doing business as WWE, Inc.; NYSE: WWE) is an American publicly traded, privately controlled entertainment company dealing primarily in professional wrestling, with major revenue sources also coming from film, music, product licensing, and direct product sales. It is currently the largest professional wrestling promotion in the world, reaching 13 million viewers in the U.S. and broadcasting its shows in 30 languages to more than 145 countries. Like other professional wrestling promotions, WWE’s shows do not feature legitimate sporting contests. Instead, its programs feature storyline-driven combat sport matches with predetermined outcomes and fighting maneuvers that are worked, all promoted as legitimate bouts.
Will the victor be Sycho Sid? Or Stone Cold Steven Austin? This was determined behind closed doors by the wrestling “powers that be.” Ultimately this did not matter either as all contestants were actors, not real sports figures.
So who will win the rasslin’ match next Tuesday? Will it be Battlin’ Barack, the Kenyan wonder? Will it be Mercurial Mitt, the Boston Brute? I am not saying that the outcome is predetermined, but it really does not matter who wins as we all will lose either way—we just lose in different ways depending on who is elected. Like the computer realizes in that old movie War Games, the only way to win is not to play.
Will I be cheering Tuesday night as I watch the returns? No, I am not 11.